Mid July. I’ve had a holiday and some time to breathe since the girls finished school. We needed it all of us – space and time to process the challenges this year brought and the triumph we managed to find in it all! It’s been pretty shit. It’s also been a growth spurt of epic proportions for us as a family and quite possibly each of us individually too. I know it has been that way for me.
I haven’t worked walking dogs at all this year and made the decision to stop some months ago. I think I needed a little time to see how things worked out but I believe it was the best decision to make. I have had a total blast doing it and wouldn’t change a thing. I count myself honoured to have gotten to know so many lovely animals and their people and to have been in a position to do it.
A few years ago the hairs on the back of my neck stood up when I heard these words during an online course when someone who they’d resonated with read them to the group over a call. They’re from Danielle LaPorte.
“Most people will proceed as planned. They’ll stay quiet, suppress their doubts with rationality. They’ll make the choice to save money, save face, not rock the boat. Don’t want to disappoint people. There’s a lot on the line. I said I would, so I should.
Safe. The road to mediocre is always really…safe. And in terms of fulfillment, “safe” is really, really dangerous.
The Courageous Minority will risk being judged as indecisive, unreasonable, and flakey (in fact, they’ll expect it). They’ll take a deep breath and steady themselves for some conflict, a miracle, or both. And they will put on the brakes, throw a wrench into the works, push for change, ask for the unreasonable. Or move on. Completely.
Their risks tend to pay off, because they took them. Even though…they had come so far, invested so much, raised the stakes, had people to please, signed the contract, booked the flight. Even though…it’s really uncomfortable, extremely inconvenient, disruptive and awkward. It’s always awkward.
Courage elevates your perspective of time. You can see that the disruption of risk is temporary, and that playing it safe can extend your numbness for a very, very long time — and that’s how “good enough” becomes toxic.
Mediocrity isn’t benign. Or passive. Or neutral. It’s soul poison.
And “risk” doesn’t seem that risky when you consider that your joy and integrity are on the line.” Danielle LaPorte
This was like something my Dad would have said – he regularly spoke about throwing away the safety nets, taking the risks, stepping out of your comfort zone to be true to yourself – all probably more important to him than a lot of other things in his life (that’s a story for another day!). It really hit home. It made sense. I had to know more.
So I eagerly looked up Danielle LaPorte. I downloaded the audio books of White Hot Truth and Desire Map and started listening on my dog walks every morning. Simply put it blew my mind. That year I spent Christmas to New Year in my chair by the fire desire mapping – doing the work book, diving into myself and absolutely loving the process, the insight, the release of the old and discovering for the first time my core desired feelings for the year ahead. I used my planner daily (I still do!). It’s my anchor for the day ahead – my starting point with a full reminder of the feelings I want to feel. The goal setting that came thereafter was softer, kinder and gentler than any other goals list I’d done before (and in fairness I had not done many as I’m a little averse to the word for some reason!). And I believe I met every one of those wishes that year. And the next… And I’m doing it again this year!
My Mum passed away last year after a very long illness. My hubby and my girls and my dogs and my lovely friends and family got me through, but a large part of my resilience through that awful time was my daily planning and my CDFs, and endless audio from Ms. LaPorte to keep me company on the dog walks, with her meditations helping me stay calm and centred on the really tricky days and through the longer darker nights.
So when I started to think about moving on from dog walking, becoming a licensed Desire Map facilitator was the next dream job! I thought it out of reach but circumstance and persistence lead me to realising it and get to work on it this year. Every time I sit down to work on my offerings I’m struck by the rich content, the care and love taken with every word and I’m incredibly grateful I get this chance to do this work. I love words, and this work relies heavily on their meaning and magic to inspire, infuse and energise. The Desire Map community and facilitator community is a place of growth, love, kindness and joy. I feel like I’ve stepped into a massive warm virtual hug and I carry it with me as I delve deeper into this work.
Desire Map is a heart centred how to on getting in touch with how you want to feel in every area of your life. It shows you how to your Core Desire Feelings, and how to use those feelings in your daily life to feel the way you want to feel, and achieve the things you want to achieve. As Danielle LaPorte says in the Desire Map “You’re not chasing the goal itself – you’re chasing the feelings that you hope attaining those goals will give you.”
I offer one to one sessions and group workshops both in person and online. I’m currently planning my first at home intro session with more to come soon and am happy to facilitate these online also. Intros are a taster of the process of Desire Mapping which will last maximum 2 hours. These will be followed up with Level 1 and Level 2 Desire Map Workshops. I hope you’ll join me. I hope you’ll love it as much as I do.
Just contact me and we’ll make it happen.
“Knowing how you actually want to feel is the most potent form of clarity that you can have. Generating those feelings is the most powerfully creative thing you can do with your life.” (from Session 3: “The Strategy of Desire”, The Fire Starter Sessions